That deadly combination - youth, talent and a hot sun - cuts Cincinnati down to size

By The Chairman:

It must be one of the most inhospitable places on earth.
In the Great Morden Desert Valley, where rain falls once every 27 years and the temperatures can reach 140F, few living things can survive.
A Cincinnati bowling attack made up of hungover newspaper hacks, under-paid ringers, and Abid was hardly alive to begin with.
By the time the young prodigies of Old Rutlishians had finished with us, all that was left was a wind-blown skeleton, bones bleached in the sun, slowly being covered over with sand.
In truth, the match was probably lost before a ball was bowled.
The first blow came in the form of an immaculate little box hedge bordering the handsome pavilion at ankle height.
The small shrub featurette, more than anything, told those Cincinnatians who arrived on time (i.e. before the match started) that we had our work cut out against a serious club that takes everything - even the gardening - seriously.
As it happened, Old Ruts started cautiously and lost early wickets, Faisal and Simon Murphy breaking through the top order.
Once again, Mr Murphy showed that by bowling at the stumps and tempting the batsmen to do something different, they eventually will.
Either that or his haunted hat spooked the opposition into running for the sheds. Faisal was, as usual, sharp and accurate, with a hostile opening spell.
But the early progress was soon replaced with bowlers showing all the menace of a summer pudding at the end of a boozy picnic.
Names have been omitted to protect the identities of the victims.
Two Old Ruts (both actually on the young side), played superbly to amass large fifties each. Woollard, tragically, was out caught on 97, while the Old Ruts opening bat, Potel(SP?) fell for 79, slicing a catch to deep backward point as their innings drew to a close.
But not before they sent six after six into the houses and well-kept gardens beyond the midwicket boundary, and - once, for variety - crashing onto Alex West's sister's car.
In reply to Old Ruts' 257, Cincinnati fluffed our way to 188. All apart from Ali, who batted with dogged concentration and an explosive and brilliant eye for a loose ball, to reach 69.
Mr West made 30, or 28, or second base, or something (the book is almost completely illegible).
The Captain spent many hours at the crease on a lonely vigil, and notched up a handy 23 runs (*Duckworth-Carlin Method total adjusted to take account of boredom and other ill health affecting scorers).
Faced with a perfect summer's day, a club fit for any cricketer's dreams, and the flattest of tracks, Cincinnati were a shambles.
Old Rutlishians, themselves, however, were a delight of a club, who gave us a most hospitable reception, the use of a beautiful pitch - and, thankfully, a well-stocked bar. We weren't so bad at that bit.

Old Rutlishians 257.
Faisal Abbas 3-21 off 7 overs, S Murphy 1-13 off four.
CCC 188
Ali 69
Alex some runs or other
Brendan 23.
(Game played on Sunday, May 18, at Old Rutlishians, Morden. Replaced scheduled fixture v Old Wimbledonians who pulled out)