Il buono, il brutto e il brillo* - sloppy Cincers gunned down in spaghetti cricket shoot-out

It was the beer.
It's always the beer, isn't it?
Beware Italians bearing bottles of beer and charmingly tempting us at teatime - that surely should have been our motto.
We learnt this lesson the hard way in Croatia last year...except we didn't.
And so day one of our tour to Lombardy took a familiar turn for a seasoned Cincers' tourist.
Chances galore went begging as ever so slightly tipsy fielders spilled what they would normally snaffle with ease.
The biggest surprise?
It was a toss-up between Bostik-fingered Sajj dropping one (or was it two?) and Richard H downing one of his own bowling. Yes, off his own bowling!
On a beautiful pitch in Lodi, not far from Milan, Cincers were defending a meagre total of just 127.
As well as plying us with an array of refreshments, our generous hosts - Idle CC - had bowled superbly in a time-game to keep us reined in.
Mr Chairman (Tim) and Dee had started well on a pitch with as just about as much bounce as The Oval nets.

(Left: Cincers' prepare for battle in Lombardy)
Under a hot sun, Dee treated us to a few of his trademark rasping legside boundaries (including one into the maize field) off Idle opener Rob.
At the other end, Idle skipper Steve bowled over after over of metronomically accurate seamers with the added menace of moving it both ways.
Dee was looking good until he was bowled for 20 by the rapid first-change bowler Sunny.
But Test Match (to give Tim his 'nom de bat') was anchored and settling in.
With Sajj striding to the crease, it was surely only a matter of time before the maize field got it again.
Sadly, after he smote two fours (can't remember if they went crop-bound), it was Sajj that got it - caught off Sunny (from memory, a catch behind to Idle keeper Silvio).
Sixty for two quickly became 78 for six.
(Below: Westie and Tim in mid-wicket "conference")

Cincers' middle-order went off and out like a damp firework, with Westie, James W, Stephen H all falling for single-figure scores.
Worse, Tim went too for what turned out to be our top-score - 32.
He was dismissed by Shaun, the sharp-bowling Saffer who also accounted for Stephen.
Simon M briefly flickered into life, stroking a superb six and threatening to form a decisive partnership with the Skip (and you can't say that very often).
Unwisely, though, Simon decided to try a glance to first slip off Idle spinner Umair...and was caught at first slip.
That left us at 100 for seven.
The Skip's stubborn resistance (my god, that cost us the day after!) continued though not with much result.
Frank came and went, and finally so did the Skip (for 17). Give him a medal.
After one brief swing from Chris, Cincers were all out.
And this, mind, was before the beers and the splendid tea!
What followed was a combination of the odd bit of bad luck, stout batting from Idle and a succession of comedy drops in the outfield.
After spill number five or six, some of us just couldn't look any more. It was too painful.
Idle opener Rob (as in bowling...he normally bats 11 but was promoted to number two) particularly enjoyed Cincers' generosity, punishing us with a succession of boundaries.
By the time he finally went for 31 (score 80 for two), even some local cats were getting envious of his let-offs.
For the record, Rob was stumped by Dee off Richard - a relief all round as the offie had earlier shelled a not overly-tricky caught-and-bowled (it might not have been 'earlier' but it sounds better that way for dramatic effect).
Chris, opening up for Cincers, had bowled a fine spell and snaffled the early wicket of Idle stalwart Carlo (whose brother's farm we were playing on).
But Carlo's departure meant Vittorio's arrival.
And by the time we said 'arriverderci' to him, the stroke-playing Italian had scored 52 and sent his team well on the path to victory.
The only reason we got Vittorio at all was down to Sajj, brought on as a last-throw of the dice by the Skip (probably an over too late).
One sharp-turning leggie had the Italian well stumped by Dee Sajj's dad).
The father-son combination seemed to energise Cincers in the field.
We suddenly started taking catches.
From 100 for 3, Idle slumped to 122 for 6 - all down to Sajj whose spell of five for 18 off five gave us belief.
For a few minutes, that is.
A couple of hefty swings from the Italian lower order and they were over the line.
To rub salt into the wounds, they even plied us with more drink after they'd won!
Churlish, though, to blame the beers (as I've just spent the last 300 words doing).
Idle out-bowled, out-fielded and out-batted us.
Thanks to our Italian hosts for a great game, played in a superb setting and in a beautiful setting.
Bravo, Idle!
Cincers Man of the Match: Sajj.
This game played on Saturday, June 28, in Lodi, Italy.
* Our headline reads 'The good, the ugly and the tipsy' with acknowledgements to a certain spaghetti western: 'Il buono, il brutto, il cattivo (the good, the ugly, the bad). Kept 'brutto' as it reads better!